One of the most meaningful things you can say to a man - and even win his heart - is simply to offer a sincere compliment. A compliment about his appearance, something he's done, or created can make his day. What you get back is usually a smile, sometimes a conversation and an assumption that you are a caring person. Not bad for such a small effort.
If you're a person who compliments people it shows them that you're aware of others and care about them. If you never compliment anyone it could mean many things: you may have grown up in a household where compliments were not offered; you may be insensitive; you may be too wrapped up in your own thoughts to notice others; or you may not care about others. If you never offer a compliment, look at the quality of your relationships. It would be safe to guess that you're not happy with them.
Men rarely get compliments about their personal selves. Chances are good that you're the first person to compliment them in a long time. If a man gets a compliment at all, it will generally be about their outward accomplishments such as work or sports.
Women get compliments about their appearance, their clothes, their new hair style, their smile, their eyes, etc., from both men and women. Men rarely get that kind of attention. So give the man you're getting to know a compliment and see how he lights up. It can be something as simple as, "I'm so impressed with how calmly you handled that situation." Or, "I like how smart you are. You challenge me and I appreciate that." Or, "That's a beautiful suit and it fits you so well."
The easiest way to tell a man you care, or to get noticed and remembered, is to give him a sincere compliment, especially if it's about something he probably doesn't get much attention for. Pay attention to what he admires about himself and let him know that you noticed and he'll think you're pretty special.
Attention Women: When you get a compliment receive them graciously. When you discount a man's compliment it makes him feel awful. It makes you look bad and eventually, you won't get any more. I've often asked men about this and they tell me that once a woman discounts his compliment instead of appreciating it and letting him know he made her feel good, he soon quits doing it. Practice receiving compliments graciously with your women friends. It feels a whole lot better. Try, "Well, thank you. That's so nice of you to say (or to notice)." Or, to have some real fun, say, "Thank you for noticing," which tells the other person, in a playful way, that you appreciate yourself. It's a great confidence builder.
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Sunday, October 17, 2010
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